Thursday, 15 November 2012

Oh Man, This One Chokes Me Up Everytime.

// Maybe I'll start with something supposedly simple, a bug. //

There once was a bug, this bug was black.  It had a name, its name was Fred.  Fred was crawling through a patch of leaves when he stumbled upon another bug.  This other bug was blue.  It too had a name, its name was Bob.  Bob also, was crawling through the very same patch of leaves.

// I WILL NOW EXPRESS MY ABILITY TO CREATE CHARACTERS UNLIKE MYSELF TO DISPLAY MY VERY OPEN AND KNOWLEDGABLE MIND. ahem...*cracks nuckles* //

Fred was a bi-curious female transvestite bug. He/She was often shy infront of male/female bugs, for they usually sent blank, condecending looks towards him/her while pondering how to perceive him/her which intimidated him/her. Ever since that incident with the magnifying glass, the garden glove, and the firewood pile, Fred has felt unsure about himself/herself due to all the hateful burning and swatting and all.

Bob was a lesbian male transvestite bug from the planet ZOB-TOG-BLOG-CHOG-COG-SOOooo00p, he enjoys tennis.  Bob grew up in a small fUTlOrP near YIP-TIP-GUPUPUPUP-POO-F00OOoo, ZOB-TOG-BLOG-CHOG-COG-SOOooo00p.  He/it/she and his/its/her best LapKAP UPI-UPI used to spend FLAzAp by the ROorrogutz on ZUGGA-ZUGGA-Z00P street playing tennis; which Bob enjoyed.  Bob was very YAMA-YAMA with UPI-UPI and they often had WUGGA-WUGGA if they had extra FLAzAp after playing tennis.  Bob felt very comfortable around UPI-UPI because he/it/she liked him/it/her even though he/it/she was not very good at WUGGA-WUGGA.

Fred had never seen an alien woman before, let alone a blue one.  He/she was quite nervous, though excited at the same time.  Fred was attracted to this woman/man/thing and he/she couldn't help himself/herself; he/she told him/it/her his/her feelings and asked if they could crawl through this patch of leaves together.

Bob, who had recently broken up with UPI-UPI and left his/it/her SHOMthe small fUTlOrP near YIP-TIP-GUPUPUPUP-POO-F00OOoo, ZOB-TOG-BLOG-CHOG-COG-SOOooo00p for Earth, pondered this request from Fred.  While thinking, Bob thought of how comfortable UPI-UPI made him/it/her feel, and he/it/she was deciding if this new alien man/woman could WUGGA-WUGGA as good as and as many fUTlOrPs as UPI-UPI could.

Fred's insecurity, while Bob was pondering, was steadily increasing.  Every second that went by, made Fred increasingly inclined to refuse identifying himself as a strong independant bug only to succumb to self-hatred and obscurity.

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