A Dire Situation

yes, a new text document.  I choose this file type over a new microsoft word document because I have not been presented with enough adequetely convincing evidence to persuade me to choose the more complicated program with more 'features'.  This ramblomatic regurgitation requires a very small amount of sophistication when it comes to file types.  That is not to say, of course, that this file type that I have chosen (text document) is lacking much intellect; but I would think it best not to bring it up.  Especially if there are possibly any old microsoft word documents in the folder lurking about.  Those old buggers just go on and on about how many fonts and text colours they have in their repertoire, it's almost unbearable, and when that's all added to the jealous cries of the plebeius 'new text documents', the whole situation then becomes thoroughly unbearable.  So unbearable infact, the situation and all situations associated with that first situation find refuge in monotonous, self-loathing depression.  This only occurs on very incredibly rare occasions however, because, usually before the situations can navigate themselves out of the skewed multicoloured mess of wingding text, windows word processor barges in, with all of its amazing new features and xyz approach to things, resolving the situation and all possibly associated situations to boot, concluding all to comprehensible, multicoloured, and super stylish three dimentional text (with quite impressive gradients I might add).  Unfortunately for many other poor unsuspecting situations out there, all of the previously poised and highly pedestaled 'microsoft word documents' will begin hoisting the plebeius torch, quaintly yammering about "that damn new three dee these days".  They were however, most impressed with the way 'windows word processor' used gradients.  Though they would, of course, never express their taken-a-backness relating to the gorgeously done gradients.  Which was unfortunate, because it probably would have helped with the general situation's depression issues.